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Classifying the signs that make you fall into a certain professional category is no new concept. And there have been plenty of lists of “You might be a teacher if…” out there. Some of them are really cheesy. But after talking with a few of my fellow teachers, I think I’ve narrowed it down to the top three most appealing. h

Swearing

There is nothing like a good f-bomb (whether out loud or even louder in your head) after working all day telling children “to make good choices”, and giving reminders about the most obvious things (“We do not flip empty water bottles around here! Please put it in the trash!”, or, “ Submit your homework to the teacher!”). The fact that a teacher has to act as an example all day makes swearing that much more special.  It reminds you that you’re just a human, and not some sort of Superman/Wonder Woman.

Very loud music… 

When I leave work, I drive elegantly through the town I work at. After all, I am a respectable member of the profession that educates future doctors, lawyers and presidents. But as soon as I take the exit onto the highway, though, radio volume goes up and all kinds of hip-hop/hard rock/EDM (depending on the mood) erupts from my car. “I’ma I’ma I’ma starboy ah”..  It is quite cathartic, I’d say, and it’s a pretty good method to drown out your own thoughts because the brain can no longer make any decisions. That can wait till tomorrow.

… or complete silence

On  the other hand, there are days when the chatter and meetings and announcements have done their job and you wish you were somewhere where there is not. a single. sound. You do not want to hear anything. Your kids’ day at school? Doesn’t matter. Their desires for a new activity, a million-dollar pair of basketball shoes, a play date with a friend, whose phone number you don’t have but have to figure out how to get it right now – f… that! The minute someone wants to turn the radio on, you pounce on them like a lioness protecting her cubs “Nooo….!” Yeah… we have days like that….

Adult beverages

I had to throw it in there. Because let’s face it, wine (or whatever your choice of poison) is a teacher’s best friend. No matter how much you love the bright-eyed inquisitive youth you get to work with,  at the end of the day you are happy to affirm that as an adult, you have a privilege to enjoy a drink (or three) (depending on whether it’s a weekend or not).

So there. My two cents on true signs that you might be a teacher.

Did I miss anything on my list? Let me know!